hi, you.
Navigate with the pixels above if you didn't already know.
Best viewed with Google Chrome / Mozilla Firefox.
Nono in Internet Explorer.

an avalanche that looms above our heads but we don't believe it

hi, you.
Navigate with the pixels above if you didn't already know.
Best viewed with Google Chrome / Mozilla Firefox.
Nono in Internet Explorer.

an avalanche that looms above our heads but we don't believe it

I read this somewhere and I thought it was quite meaningful.

'Sometimes when you make decisions you don't make them because they're the easy way out, because they're convenient, because they make you happy, because they make others happy, you make them because it's right.'

Can I just swear? After all, it's MY blog. Forget it. I won't.
Is calling someone a 'bitch' mean even if he/she deserves it?
Sometimes you just want to scream into that person's face and go, ''You're a bitch, you bitch!'' And stomp off. But you can't always get what you want ~

Okay back to yesterday, what a great time catching up! Even I told Nasri, 'Rachel is so much cooler now!' There's just something about the way she carries herself or talks now that gives others the impression that she runs her own life. So kudos. Wendy is awesome. I never really realized her awesomeness until yesterday. Afiq and I talked and hung out as the whole didn't-see-you-for-a-year thing never existed. Nasri is still a bitch. (kidding) (not really)

The photoshoot started off a little slow, then things picked up pretty quickly and we got some really professional pictures at the end. Nasri is really talented, I didn't expect the picture with Wendy and I pulling Afiq like a manwhore picture to turn out so fine, but you delivered! Rachel took some lovely ones of Danica too. Can you believe we finished at 6pm sharp?

Met Danielle. Who knew she was 14? Met Amelia, love that girl! It was like a mixed gathering. If you know what I mean.

'Hey what race are you?'
'Indian and Thai'
'Oh I'm Chinese, Malay and French'
'Oh I'm China, Singaporean and Filipino.'
'And I'm Mexican and Black.'

Okay so that last one was made up, but you get the drift.

Last but most certainly not least. SOLAR SYSTEM!
C: Let's pretend we're talking about the solar system, quick!
Everyone: Ooooh.. Aaaaah..
R: Oh did you read the newspaper? They say that there will be spaceships landing on earth in 2012.
N: Yeah I know right.
C: Are we ACTUALLY talking about the solar system?!

It's been years since I updated my blog. Centuries! Maybe. What was I thinking, 'buttering'? Anyway, if you're reading this, I love you. You still remember! I think I might cry.



I really should be working on my Shakespeare power point slide now, yet I feel this is way more important. And it is.

I feel like I've always known you inside out. You opened up to me! Or were you just pretending.. Either way, I miss you. I miss that girl I know. Now you're running away with who you THINK is your knight in shining armour. I wish I could stop you, force your eyes open and tape your eyelids to the back of your head. Have I ever told you that you're my teenage dream? You think I'm pretty without any make up on. You think I'm funny, when I get the punch line wrong. ~ That's what I think of you! Wake up girl. You're just nodding to everything he says and kissing his feet cause right now, he's the only one you think is giving you hope. Can I tell you a secret? YOU'RE HOT. YOU'RE TALENTED. YOU'RE SMART. More importantly, YOU DON'T NEED HIM. Go figure, HE NEEDS YOU. He's the 3 for $10 grey T-shirt and you're the unaffordable Giorgio Armani belt around his waist. You make him look good, for short. So run to your Marc Jacobs dress or Juicy Couture blouse, away from what's cheap.

As for you, I've never had hard feelings for you. What's done is done. My best advice for you is to move forward and make preparations to succeed. Expect the best because it's not out of reach. I wish I could hug you, like the last time we hugged before I left. Even though the atmosphere was tense, when we hugged there was a spark. I knew it was a hug, not body brushing or whatever. You're really special. Truly. Moreover, you always believed in me, even when I doubted myself. You're way out of his league, don't forget.

And to the rest of you who are affected or dented by this, fret not! Justice always emerges triumph at the end! It's just natures way of working this out. So if you're not too sure who's side you're on, 'Oh but I feel so sorry for him' or 'HE'S GOING TO HELL! BOOYAH!' doesn't matter! What's right will fall into place and you'll have your life back. I promise.

What's the definition of loser?

Like, someone who loses? Yeah, a loser. Literally.
Seriously, what is the true definition of a loser.
To be frank, someone who fails. Failure = Loser.
How does one fail? When one does not have anything to persue in life.
No ultimate goal. So whatever that person does, is failure. As it will not add up to success.

Ahh, but sometimes being a 'loser' can be a good thing.
A very good thing.
When being called a 'loser' in a already failed society, isn't that the complete opposite of 'losing'?
Why choose to fit in into a community that is already a loser in a whole?
Why be a winner within a group of loser?
Doesn't that just make you a even bigger loser?

So here it is.

I AM A LOSER IN PEIRCE.
And girl, I cannot express how grateful I am for being a loser in Peirce.
For because I am a loser in failure, I do not fail.

I can't believe I only touched the computer like twice this week. Has the computer lost it's charm on me? Is reading, now my new found love? How was literature, somehow able to win my heart.

I can't wait for tomorrow. Going shopping with my parents. Yes. Both my mum and dad. It's about time the three of us bonded. I may just be getting my dream guitar, DaisyRock. Sweet. It's about time I got a new, good guitar for me to develop my skills on. And to write more songs on! Anyway, school is screwed up. As usual. Chinese agitates me.

I seldom talk about you. Seldom think about you. You're not a big part of my life. You were never a big part, infact. But you were there. You were part of me, just not a big part.

We laughed, talked on the phone for hours. When we had to say goodbye, I wished my hands were locked permanently together so I could never release you from our embrace. You opened up your inner most thoughts and feelings to me.

We shared mutual feelings about what we both were experiencing together.

You weren't happy. Neither was I. We were stressed, and we put on a mask. You somehow put it on better than I did, you made it seem like everything was perfect.

What happened? We hardly talk now. Infact, we never talk. Judging by what I heard now, and what I see. You're either still wearing your mask, or you've changed your mind about everything you complained to me about.

You seem happy. True happiness and excitement. Or just to please someone else. Who am I to judge?

I miss you. The old you. Or at least, the you I knew and had fun with. The you that you opened up to me. The you that I shared the most magical hugs with. I doubt you still remeber my full name. But if you ever come across this, I hope some of it rings a bell.

It was a full moon two days ago. I was doing that thumb thing in school. While Danica was doing it at home. While Nini was doing it in Malaysia. Hilarious how that short Dear John trailer succeeded to leave such a huge impact on us.

It's 9pm now and I'm so tired. My eyes can hardly open, nevermind.

Watched The House Bunny on my iPod as I do that front bridge/plank thing. Anna Faris! My role model for getting those sexy abs. I tend to train myself to be able to maintain in that position for at least a whole scene. It's surprisingly good.

Took a short break from writing songs, just more of fooling around on the guitar or piano. Playing around with chords. It's relaxing I suppose.

I can't freaking wait to go to boarders again to buy a book. My family suggests I borrow them. Ah, but they don't understand. I love having a book to call my own. With no curfews, no datelines, no rush or hurry or burden to finish the book. Next book on my list: The Little Mermaid the original story. Followed by another nicholas Sparks book. The Last Song or Message in a Bottle. That writer, I tell you, absoluetly indulging.

Just finished Dear John about 4 days ago. I finished the entire book within 2 days. It was the only book, dare I say, that left me speechless, in a mess, sobbing, and very disturbed. I found myself debating that night how the ending should have ended. It left a huge impact on me. Even though Nasri's sister and his 4 classmates may have been reading it too. Who cares? They have good taste, I need to get over the fact that I'm not the only one. And you know what, I have. Read Dear John. That's the best advice I can give you.